Who is The Candid Crook?

Hey, I’m Amanda, and my life has been a bit strange, to say the least. But to elaborate a little further…shortly after graduating high school, I accepted a job offer from a complete stranger who bought me a bus ticket to a town hundreds of miles from home. The pitch was simple and irresistible: travel, make money, change your life.

What followed was nearly three years on a traveling sales crew: a high control workplace that took far more than it ever gave, and two failed attempts to leave before I finally got out.

From there I chased a guy who left his phone and a note at my workplace before driving to the desert to seek his demise, but ended up in a long-term relationship with another guy: an emotionally abusive therapist. Sprinkle in some other crazy experiences between those, and that’s been my life. 

These days it looks pretty normal from the outside, but I spend a lot of time in my head trying to make sense of what the hell has happened in the past couple decades. 

These experiences cracked something open in me, but not right away. It took years of repeating the same patterns before I started connecting the dots between what happened on that crew, in my messed up relationships, and during the childhood I hadn't yet looked at honestly. 

Along the way I fell for a body language "guru" who charged me five thousand dollars for pseudoscience dressed up in a lab coat, thought I wanted to be like one of those gurus myself, but eventually realized the common thread running through all of it: I hadn't yet learned to be or trust myself.

And I could keep my mouth shut about all of it, but I’ve tried that — it doesn’t work.

That's what The Candid Crook is about.

This blog is where I process my own history of complex trauma, coercive control, and self-discovery — out loud, honestly, and without putting on a mask. I write personal essays about the messy, nonlinear work of healing. I dig into the tactics of scammers, false gurus, and manipulators, because understanding how deception and undue influence work is one of the best defenses against it. And occasionally I photograph the beauty I find in ordinary places and things, because that matters too.

I'm not a therapist, a guru, or an expert. I'm a writer, photographer, and mother based in Lincoln, Nebraska, who reads obsessively, thinks too much, and believes that telling the truth — even the uncomfortable, unflattering kind — is one of the most important things a person can do.

My experiences are mine. My conclusions are my own. I encourage you to take what's useful, leave what isn't, and think critically about everything, including what you read here.

If something resonates, I'm glad. If something bothers you, sit with that for a minute before you close the tab. That discomfort might be worth diving into.

You ready? Here we go.